October 12, 2009

Curtain Call and Final Bows

Wow. How do you start a blog like this? I’m writing this on my iPhone as I’m leaving Indianapolis (a good a place as any to start I guess).

As many of you know I was referred to a testicular cancer specialist, the same who attended to Lance Armstrong. This Doctor’s offices are at Indiana University’s main campus in Indianapolis. As I said in my last blog, Waiting…, I finished chemotherapy at the end of September. Friday the 9th I went to Louisville to confirm test results and today I came here to Indy to get official answers. THE official answer on where my life goes from here or if I’m still sick. Or the most important question, whether or not my life belongs to me again.

Ok. Deep breath.

The answer is yes. My life belongs to me again. I am officially cancer free. After 4 1/2 months of surgeries, chemo, plastic things in my chest and hardships, I am finally free.

There are 8 spots left in my lungs but they are all extremely tiny. The largest on being under 6 milimeters. Not even large enough for a biopsy. However, the doctors are confident that these are just dead tissue left over from the cancer and chemotherapy that will fade away in time. Both my lungs and my brain are completely clean. No spreading, not even scar tissue

I did it when I was 16 and now I have managed it again. I have beaten cancer for the second time in my life, something that will never cease to amaze me and make me proud. After the doctor congratulated my parents and I he left the room. I stood to stand and walked a few paces. I stopped in the doorway and it hit me. I started crying right there, the only time in my entire life that I have felt that way. It is an unbelievable, overbearing and amazing feeling. It dominates every sense you have while you experience it. This may seem terribly overdramatic but unless you’ve had cancer yourself it’s impossible to articulate.

I am so happy and so thankful to all the people who have supported me through this. All of the guys from A Nerd’s Guide To The Universe(S) and the rest of my best friends, all of the people from Northern, my family, Caitlen Driver, everyone from Baptist East and CBC in Louisville, my professors and the staff at NKU for understanding. I am so grateful for how supportive everyone has been and that they have been a part of my life. Thank you. There are not words in any language that could possibly convey that properly.

I’m sorry I couldn’t get this to everybody sooner. My phone died and I didn’t mean to scare anyone with my statuses earlier, I love you all for helping me through this.

October 6, 2009

Waiting…

So, I’ve been wanting to write one of these but it means I actually have to confront the things that are scaring the shit out of me right now so I haven’t just been ready to jump on the band wagon. Here’s whats up:

I was originally prescribed 4 rounds of chemotherapy. The fourth round ended with the last few weeks of September, and let me tell you, it was the absolute worst experience I have ever had in my life. I was EXTREMELY sick. I usually throw and stay sick up for 3-4 days after chemo tops before I start recovering. I was sick for about 2 weeks this time and my immune system degraded bad enough to the point that I had to have a blood transfusion. My white blood cells, platelets and etc were so low that they could belive I was able to function.

So the question is, now that the 4th round is done what happens?

Well I have gotten a bunch of tests and tomorrow I go in for more. Friday Oct 9th I see my regular Oncologist and Monday  Oct 12th I travel to Indianapolis to see my Testicular Cancer Specialist Oncologist. Its then, (probably Monday) that I will learn what comes next. Am I good to go? Is the cancer still there? Will I have to have more chemo or not? What about radiation? Or surgery? These are very real issues but I’ll just have to wait and see.

As you can imagine, I am not a happy camper right now.